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random ramblings

3rd April, 2002. 8:16 pm. Attention Deficit Disorder

I feel so unorganized already! I'm frantically trying to re-organize my room and my shedule. I need to map out everything I need to do. Did I mention that I have self diagnosed myself with Attention Deficit Disorder?! I want to go get it checked out and see what I can do about it, but I don't know what to do. Anyone know? I was planning to ask my doctor the next time I go. Anyway, so I get distracted super quick and easily. I have a hard time studying because I seem to forget that I'm studying... weird that sounds? Let me give examples... The most common one is when I'm studying, I'll need something, like a calculator, pen, etc. so I'll get up to get one. As I'm walking, my mind wanders and I forget where I'm walking to. I usually end up walking into my living room and think that I have free time and sit in front of the computer. I tend to do a million things at once cuz I forget my current task, so I'll start a new one. Sometimes I'll be studying and find that I need to send out an e-mail, or look up some equation online, so I'll go to my computer and forget that I had a purpose, so I'll start journaling (like now) or read other people's journals... or play games =D Anyway, it's super bad though. I never realized it before... I knew that I could not pay attention in class for longer than 10 minutes. I usually do really well like the first 5 minutes, then space out. When I snap back to it, I get really restless and feel like I've been there forever and just want to leave... I look at the clock and it's only been 15 minutes at most.

Earlier, I was putting away all the clothes that I brought back from spring break, and as I'm carrying piles of clothes at a time from the living room to the bed room, I forget that I was suppose to be putting away my clothes, so I browsed the web. Then I looked back and saw the clothes, and remembered, so I brought more clothes to the bedroom, and on my way back, I saw paper on the floor and started to organize and file all the paper. Then attempted to put away my clothes again, and saw my PJs. I started to debate whether I should change into them so I can put away the clothes I'm wearing, or do I put my PJs aside for when I change later. I was gonna change because I wasn't going anywhere, then I thought, ooo... I should go to Target to get something to organize all the handouts I'm gonna get this quarter. Then I completely lost track and this is how I ended up writing this journal. I can go on and on, but I always forget... distracted too easily. Holding a conversation with me can be difficult too cuz I'll literally forget what I'm talking about while talking. Cuz while I'm trying to make a point, something I say will trigger another thought, so I'll start talking about that, then never find my way back to the point. So I'm very frustrated right now because I have a lot of errands to do, but I seem to keep forgetting, or not able to finish any of them. That's why it's so important for me to map out my schedule and have a plan. So I need to bust out my planner and write down all the things I have to do... It's silly cuz once I write it all out, it doesn't seem like much I have to do. But trying to get just 3 things done without a plan completely drives me insane! I have to "plan" or schedule in a time to do something as simple as call or e-mail someone... either that or I have to do it right away, which usually means I would not doing something else I'm suppose to be doing. That's prolly why I'm so impulsive too. Okay, gotta plan my schedule (fit in doc appt, pharmacy, CTFMS...), put away the clothes, and make a folder thingy to organize my class notes, since I'm too impulsive and can't wait the time it'd take to go buy one. --Just planning what I have to do. =)

Current mood: restless.

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3rd April, 2002. 9:43 pm. poopy...

Everyone is taking a break from journaling! What will I read?! Come back! Bactagrrl, Bleak, and LuckyKat, I hope you guys come back soon. And Bleak, LuckyKat, and lilracer22, I hope you guys feel better.

Current mood: sleepy.

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