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random ramblings

15th March, 2002. 1:12 am. yay!

I just did my site so it will have a different look for each day of the week! It took my many hours though, cuz I had to make 5 more backgrounds, since I already had 2. But it seemed to take forever! But look when you have the chance! Unfortunantly, I made it so Friday has my original one, so I guess we won't get to see any changes till after today, huh? Oh well, just means you have to check back often! =D

Current mood: accomplished.

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15th March, 2002. 4:33 pm. Nothing like a teacher's word of encouragement

In my Friday education class, we always have group disscussions about teaching methods and related stuff. Not to be cocky, but I think I'm the only one who has had diversity training, or any people/peer counseling skills. I mean, I've been a peer counselor since high school, and now an HA forever... I've been drilled with communication and diversity training. Also, I'm taking another education class, which helps me put a lot of my thoughts together reguarding education since it's a topic I think about so much. Anyway, so during our discussions, I often feel like when I talk to these people, I need to simplify. Like there's so much about teaching that seems natural to me, but when I talk to them, I realize that they don't know any other the theories and stuff. Anyway, I enjoy the discussions because it always makes me think more and I always get to share my thoughts. Today was our last class, and the teacher just went around shaking everyone's hand, and I was the last one she approached. I said thank you to her. And she starts saying stuff almost in a whisper so no one else hears, (this is all I made out since I was just really shocked, flattered, and just didn't know how to react),"Thank you. I'm really glad I got to meet you and got the chance to talk to you. You have a lot of skills". Then walks to her desk, and as she walks by me, all I said was "thanks". I just didn't know what to say.

I've never took compliments well. Ever since I was a kid, and till this day, I don't know how to react to compliments. I get all embarassed, and many times just say "no no..." What do you say when people say "you're so skinny!" (cuz I really don't think I am)... my usual answer of "no no..." I realized couple years ago is not a good response cuz I might offend someone, especially if it's someone bigger than me saying it. It's just weird because I really don't think there's anything about me that is compliment worthy, so when people give me compliments, I really don't agree much. I'm flattered, and of course it feels nice, but I also feel like "no no... it's not true. you shouldn't say that cuz it's not true". It's just hard to accept compliments... I feel like saying "take it back". Then I know that's rude too. I try to just be grateful and humble and say thanks, even though I'm doubtful. Okya, I've said too much...

Current mood: hungry.

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