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random ramblings

17th October, 2001. 9:58 pm. Owwy!

So couple days ago, I bit my toungue while I was sleeping. The cut, now turned cold sore/canker sore (don't know which is which), is on the left underside of my tongue. My molar must have bit it cuz the cut is the size of my molar, so whenever I talk or eat, the cut keeps rubbing up against my molar! OUCH! This is no fun, especially for someone who LOVES to EAT so much... and talk! I can't even eat the stuff I like, or as much of it cuz it's so painful. Last night, I put salt on it, hoping to speed up the healing process, but no improvements. In fact, my teeth/jaw hurts now too. This sucks. I want it to go away so I can EAT again!!!! Gosh darn it!

So Jonathan went to his life insurance class today over at MetLife. He left before 4PM and came back around 8:30. In that short time, I feel like I got so much done. Of course, I was running from place to place, but in that short amount of time, I played football (will tell you all about it soon!), took A-Phi yearbook pictures, and watched a concert by the Arts Department called Internet Pianos. How independent of me to go to the concert all by myself, huh?! =P

So back to the oh so exciting game of flag football. We played against Gamma Phi Beta today. Boy was it an exciting game! I got there like 20 min late, and when I got there, G Phi B had already scored once. So within my first 10 min there, they score again! I didn't even get to play much and it was half time. So we go in after half time down 12-0. Awesome Anabelle scores 2 touch downs! Woo hoo... tie game and like 2 min left in the game. I don't know how many seconds were left, but less than a minute for sure, G Phi B scores again! (They have this "healthy" girl that's super fast. When I first saw her run, I was like "whoa, that's fast for a big girl") Anyway, so we're down 6 points and there's like 10 seconds left in the game. In the next play, Anabelle catches the ball again and runs it... and SCORES! None of the teams got any of the extra points... too bad for us. But yup, so that's another tie game... but hey, at least we haven't lost any!

Internet Piano was really cool. You know how back in the days, they have those upright pianos that play on their own? You know, like the keys and peddles are just going on their own... Well, Yamaha just made one that's like that, but it's a grand piano, and instead of saving the music by punching holes in paper (I think that's how it was done), they save it on to a floppy. It's like a computerized grand piano. So the concert tonight was by two pianist (one from UCI and other from UCSD). At each site, there's one of those computerized grand pianos. Every time you play a note, it's saved as a MIDI, and then transfered to the other piano. So if the piano at UCI hits a note, over at UCSD, you see of the keys go down by itself! So the first piece was a duet. It was cool to see the two pianist play at two different location, but to create one piece. Next, the pianist at UCSD played a solo. The coolest part was watching the peddles go up and down on it's own. Also, I could see the reflection of the strings and hammer because the piano was opened. It was neat to see all the hammers hammer on it's own. It was a very good experience.

While I was at the concert, I suddenly thought of why I'm not completely happy at A-Phi. There are aspects I like (for example, I loved doing Songfest and I love playing football), but I don't feel like I'm clicking with the girls very well. All the people I clicked with have all left, and I don't think I have that connection with the younger members. I remember doing Songfest last year... rehearsals was miserable for me cuz I didn't feel like I belong. I had a blast performing though! But that was it... it was just for the production. I didn't feel a part of the group on a personal level. Times when I try to get to know others better and try to hang out more, I just end up feeling really left out. There are just a handful of sisters that I feel truely close to. I love those few to death and appreciate everything they've done for me and I just appreciate that they're in my life. But there are some others that not only make me feel left out, but there are some that I feel just don't like me! Whatevers... I'm a senior... I'm so over it. I think I'm at the point where I'm not even going to try to find happiness here anymore. It's just there now and it'll be over soon, so whatever.

Current mood: confused.

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