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random ramblings

14th September, 2001. 4:36 pm. Behind Closed Doors

I'm so burnt out. Last night, we did behind closed doors. It's a series of skits that the returner HA's, OA's, and CP's put on for the new HA's to put them to the test and give them a taste of what to expect. Since I did the date rape scene so well last year, I was volunteered to do it again this year. Originally, I didn't want to do it because it is so emotionally draining, but when I was assigned it, it was kind of flattering, so I just went with it. It went very well... but imagine how I felt after I was crying in 5 scenes. Poor Garrett was the first one to enter... I was hard on him. After that, I pace the difficulty better and was able to let the HA go deeper into it more.

Yeah! We're done with training. I just have move-in day to worry about now. Oh yeah, I also gotta finish painting the white boards... ack! I'm just so exhausted now. I also got a busy weekend to look forward to. My mom's suppose to do my nails tonight when I got back to get my fridge and bring it back with her car. Only thing is I have a lot of stuff to do here still. She also wants my car home tomorrow night so she can pray for it. Then we got Tianna's b-day party, Sir's house warming party, and Joan's wedding to go to tomorrow. So when do I get my car?! Then Sunday, bright and early, I gotta help out with move-in day. What fun. Then after, straight into rush. I'm going to be so burnt out before classes even start! AH!!!

So I've been feeling very depressed that last couple days. Dunno if it's cuz of the recent tragedy, or just burnt out from training, or combination of several things. Probably the latter, but I've just been feeling down! And my date rape scene last night didn't help. I think I'm just feeling the beginning of the overwhelming responsiblities I'm about to take on... HA, Alpha Phi, family, school, and of course, Jonathan. My main fear is not doing well in school. I'm afraid Alpha Phi will upset me and effect the other aspects in my life too... especially school. I REALLY want to do well in school... I only have 2 years left! Gotta finish! Then Becky, my supervisor for 2 years, the person I went to about EVERYTHING, will be leaving in a week. I gotta admit that I'm not only sadden, but scared too. I always went to her to vent, and I don't know who I can trust and who is not directly involved with the stressers in my life.

Good news for the day: I received my first A&F package for this school year! Yippee! For those who don't know, I online shop a lot, especially at A&F, and I was known all last year for getting lots of packages from them. The cycle has begun...

Current mood: drained.

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